He took my place

I've been suspended in this daze, amazing wonder of who God, Jesus, Holy Spirit are to me...I cant quite express it in words...But I'll try to give you the vision:

Imagine opening a door and walking into a room filled with smoke from sweet smelling incense that brings your heart joy, comfort, and relief...puts a knowing smile on your face and everything fades away. There are strips of sheer glowing white fabric, like perfectly cut veils, dangling from above and extending to the floor. Something ever lures, urging you forward, to gently push back the veil pieces, and continues to direct you. Don't know where you're going but in your heart you're certain it's the right direction. Something or someone so close beckons you to keep walking forward, to come...

That's me, I'm in a state of being lost to myself but found in Jesus's presence.

Yesterday afternoon God gave me this equation:

My Authority + the Power of the Holy Spirit
are
leveraged
by

1. Blood (Hebrews 10:19-25)
2. Name Above every name (Phil 2:9)
3. Eternal Word (Ps 119:89)

which results in = FAITH

Where Am I going?

Dear Father,

With all due respect, where am I headed? What and when is the end to all this???... Why all these trials?... Part of me feels I should not be asking You these questions, but forgive me God. I just want You to know how hard living for You right now is... I dont doubt You Love me, I dont doubt You are Omnipresent and Omniscient, but it's just that I'm going down a road I have never been before. The life I left behind for You has popped up to challenge my Faith. I know the seed of doubts is questioning, which affects what I think, what I say, and how I act. So I have to destroy this right now to its roots as I present it to You.

I know saying "Yes!!" to You Jesus meant saying "No!" to the world and saying "Hello!" to trials. Learning to trust You, learning to seek You, learning to depend on You, and getting to know You...these are all the desires of my heart. I refuse to go back to where my life was before You mercifully pulled me out, back when it was just going in circles. Cycles repeating over and over, same story line, same ending.

But I cannot help wondering...I feel I've been right here for a long time. WHat are you trying to teach me that I'm not getting? Or am I suppose to just actively marinate in all this? I know in you every waiting season has a reason and purpose. Bear with me Father as I lay my heart bare before You, for I know in the end You are God and not to be questioned. I dont doubt Your ability God. It's just right now, my feelings and what's going on around me...really challenges that which I profess - Believing that You reconciled me to You by the blood of Your Son Jesus and though I'm a sinner, there's no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

But I'm not changing my mind, I know the devil is prowling around looking for an opportunity to come in and bring along seven of his friends...which is not going to happen!! Now way!! So Father, this is a renewal of my promise to You ... You are God my God, You redeemed me and gave me Life. You see me and know my name. You bless me everyday. So Daddy I need to hear Your voice in the midst of all this. May I not fall back and backslide... I said yes to You before, to Your way at life, and to be used as a vessel. Sanctify me and draw me close to You. Hide me in You Jesus, and protect me from the evils of this world. My heart, my soul, my very being I give back to You...As a thank You for all that You've done in my life and all who You've been to me... You will be forever God, long after the earth fades from my eyes. So yet while I can, grant me the strength to worship You with all of me. In the name of Jesus I pray and in Faith I thank You for hearing my prayer. Amen

Paul really knew the truth when He spoke to the gentiles. He understood all that would come our way and gave pointers and strategies in what to do. I need to revisit the Letters written by Paul...stay tuned.