My God

Reflecting...Lord..You gave me warnings, You gave me words to see me through this storm. It's amazing how one can start a day overwhelmed, intense emotional turbulences, pain, sorrowful..but end with praise...Only You God give me strength to push through, to praise through the storm.

As I reflecton Lamentations 3:22-23
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

28 Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.

29 Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.

30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

31 For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.

I cried for compassion and You came through...I have never felt soo much love today. From co-workers, non-believers, complements Father that gave me a smile. Apparently my "casual" is considered "elegant". Cards from friends with Love, Love, Love...all around...You are incredible and wonderful the way You operate Lord. Love from my dance ministers Lord, laugh, encouragement, warfare dance and prayer. Liberation and joy and freedom and playfulness in spirit....God I always knew You created me goofball, child in alotta aspects...That is how You desire for us to approach You, with childlike faith-

Quick to Trust

Quick to Forgive

Quick to Love.

Thank You God for showing me Your love throughout today, for providing for ALL of my needs today and everyday. God Great God, magnificent King...My life is Yours :o)

The Promise

Consumed till it hurts...
I never knew loving would hurt soo much...Again
Once more...I face the "whys?", "what if?"
Emotions intense -the physical pangs and throbs of an aching heart is all I feel...
No words to describe..but allowing myself to feel - once more...

Dont know why it hurts,
when a part of me wanted you gone.
Maybe at times I say things or wish things but dont really mean it...
But this time...I had to choose...My whole being knows it's for my good...
No more resisting, I'll cry, I'll laugh, knowing full well I'll live

This time around God I know You walk with me.
That is my strength, my hope, my cry.
I said this before and say it again
"I dont care how much it hurts or what it takes, do it Lord for me"
I know with You I have to be careful what I ask for,
But You are MY GOD and You promised me NEVER will You forsake me,
And I believe...

You will channel this energy into a passion ever consuming, yearning and desiring for You.
A new heart, brandished from trials, filled with a Love unlike any other - Your Love
A grateful, giving, kind, patience, humble, joyful, longsuffering, gentle, good, faithful, meek, temperate, trusts, protects, perseveres, & hopes (1 Cor 13: 4-8).
I believe to accomplish that for which You have purposed me to do...I need Your heart (EZEKIEL 37:26-27).

Can I just say I'm not really looking forward to the days ahead...but I know I'll get through. Because Your Grace God will never take me where You cannot protect me... I believe Lord that You are sufficient for me...You are gracious and Love...I'm holding onto Your promise to me --Jehovah Rahim...I'm in need of your compassion right now...You're teaching me how to Love. Thank You.

Learning to Walk with You

I woke up with You...I didnt know how much I needed You till today happened. One word "Thank You"..okay maybe 2. All I'm trying to say is, I was overwhelmed, pushed to the limit, but You sustained me through...a smile hear, a much needed hug there, laughter from him of all people...Thank You for favor with people. Thank You for Holy Spirit for giving me songs to sing to calm me down, for keeping me focused, and GOD for Your strength throughout today. I really did feel You, watch You move in my life today, see You hold me up...

With bloodshot eyes I stared at the screen...it's been 4, 5 hrs...lost track with the pressure and one goal to compile everything together. Waves of frustration try to rise up ever so often, but You distract me, restore me, re-focused and re-energized, I push on...one task at a time. One question at a time...one purpose = complete what I have been assigned. Lord I pray that You will reveal Your one assignment for me to me. I know I'm relentless, determined, and at times strong willed...but I desire to be all these and soo much more for just You God. Channel all these abilities within me to do Your will, bringing You Glory in ALL that You assign me. Thank You for preparing me for You.

Learning to yield

Over and over I keep revisiting you...the haunting questions that won't leave me alone...somedays I can ignore you, but others, i just can't seem to find the mute button. I've dared to believe and dream...

Just cant help wondering...what if I never see that reality...

Regardless, I choose to hope in the smallest possibility, that you just might be real and it's right around the corner. Why? Because hope keeps me going, dreaming of endless possibilities of what could be...that you are real...

Father I thank You for creating me. I thank You especially for loving me EVEN when I make stupid decisions. I'm sorry for my moments of weakness, feeble attempts to act on my own will, and mistrust of Your faithful, loving, character...for I'm sure that these do hurt you. I need Your help in living the life You created me to experience. You who are love, teach me your truths, show me my way...You promised me that the goodwork You started in me, You and only You will carry it through till completion (Phillipians 1:6). On this word I stand, by Faith I believe that God you will make me whole. Thank You Lord, because I know years from now I will look back and thank You for the process and the journey... for calling me, for equipping me, and blessing me. I believe God that my trial pales in comparison to my rewards, I believe in Your Love for me as demonstrated once and forever by Jesus Christ...I trust You God

God's Gracious Hand

As I reflect on the past 1 year...I can see Your hand Lord, guiding me, encouraging me, being faithful to me, through it all...the questioning, the uncertainty, the fear. I can boast now of knowing that You are a compassionate God indeed...loving to all you've made (Psalm 145:9, 17-18). You were much closer than I felt. You strategically ordered my steps leading me straight to You...Even when I could not see your hand by being sucked up by this world and trying to please people, I can say now that Your God have a GOOD HEART ALWAYS....

Thank You for calling me to You. For picking me up and turning me around. I know it sounds cliche, but I truly do feel what I am expressing and understand the weight of my statements. You are simple yet complex, compassionate yet just, perfect and holy. Thank You for giving me hope. Thank You for having carried me through life thus far and where You're taking me. I know even in the desert You're with me, when there's no one else...You've promised never to forsake me (Isaiah 42:16). I celebrate You with my life, I lay down all I find of worth, I turn my struggle to align with this temporary world and please people, I surrender all for Your purpose, I invite You into my heart...flood me God with revelations and truths. Show me how to walk by and in Faith at all times, light my path, change my attitudes and perceptions...I trade anything for You. I give You my life and I thank You for allowing me to see myself as precious and beautiful..the way You made me.

Incredible, magnificent God my God--Jehovah Elohay

Help Me Let Go

Father I read in your word today how a thousand years is like a day to you...how oftentimes we want what we want and reject what you give us. In the end, we're hurt, frustrated, angry...I started thinking...maybe it hurts soo bad because we "want" soo much. It wouldn't hurt if we wore our desires like a lose garment, here today gone tomorrow...it wouldn't hurt as much if we accepted your giving us what we need and us letting go of what we want. You know what's best for us all the time, you know what's ahead of our life, what's to come...so why do I struggle with letting go...daddy why cant I trust You completely, with EVERYTHING???...What's holding me back from saying and giving my YES! to you?...Lord Jesus, there's a work that needs to be done in my heart to make me whole...I dont care how you do it...how painful it is...and how much I am resisting...I ask You to take over my life and finish the work You started in me. Amen