I Surrender...

I did ask God to speak to me today and He sure did... I expected answers, but He showed me how my small mind of thinking had essentially given Him multiple choice questions with my pre-defined answer choices... And God, as He does best, blew up everything, bringing me to tears and crying out to Jesus...All, yes,... in one day... I admit I have no idea where my life is headed, and that scares me. For someone who plans and strategizes, that is hard and what He is asking of me is painful. But I know it is for my own good...He's asking me to let go and I want to but I just keep holding on...but what am I truly holding on to???...My way of knowing??? Doing things??? Handling things??? Responding to things???...These obviously havent worked thus far, if not I wouldnt be here at the throne of Grace & Mercy, in need of a major pouring & cleansing.

As I cried and prayed He led me to a devotional by Ruth Bell Graham. She states that trusting God involves:

1. Committing ourselves
2. Committing our burden
3. Committing our souls
4. Committing our way
5. Committing our cause
6. Committing our works

As I reflected and prayed on these...God led me to Psalm 25 and 37. Which I must continue to reflect on. As I looked up I saw what I had pulled up on youtube....

Hillsong United "Take All Of Me". It starts with this verse:

"I love You
All of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life
Take all of me"

And ends with:
"I love You so, and I give up my heart to say
I need You so, my everything"

Looking at all these...I believe that God is asking me to Let Go of where I put my securities and rely on Him alone and finding sufficiency in His Love. I shouldnt come with the mindset that "God bless me" or "Do this for me then I will entrust all of me to you"....uh-uh, God doesnt work this way... He is asking me to step out on Faith. Step out to meet Jesus, whose arms are outstretched, reaching out for me. For God already gave me what I didnt ask for, His son dying for me, my sins, to set me free. This leaves me thinking, now if I were a prisonner trapped in bondage, no amount of wealth or food would appease me...what I'd desire the most is freedom!!! And I believe Jesus has already given me the best thing I could ever ask for...eternal life. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me. He is my Savior and Lord of my Life now. Now God is asking me to let Him use my life to the extreme, to lead an impossibly great life for Him. And how can I refuse You God, You who has given me soo much...So I say YES!! With every fiber of my being.

Heavenly Father, Creator of the Heavens and Earth. You are crowned in full Glory, reigning over the world, King of Kings. Your dominion cannot be fathomed. Yet Jesus, You left Your throne, and came to rescue me from the death that was inevitable and impending. You laid down Your life for me only to pick it up once more in 3 days. I Love You and I THANK YOU...This is me offering You my heart to dwell in, my life to reign over. I may not know where I'm going, I relinquish control of my life both today and tomorrow, and I entrust ALL OF ME to You Jesus. I pray God that You would take me. If this poor servant, humbled by Your goodness can still be used in part of Your Great Plan...then Daddy I say yes and I need You Jesus. Teach me how to live for You - God. Teach me how to be obedient to You and Your will. To wear this world like a loose garment, soo easily removed. Teach me how to place my trust in You daily, for everything. I am nothing without You. Create within me a steadfast spirit and a grateful heart always. I Thank You for Loving me. Thank You God for delighting in me. Thank You for Your faithfulness. Thank You for Your protection and daily provision. Thank You for Your presence. Thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit. I'm excited to see the new life, the new direction that You have for me Jesus. Thank You for moving me from Glory to Glory. I praise You Heavenly Father. In Faith I receive Your promises over me. I seal this prayer in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.